Posts

how i'd want to live today

I think today is one of those days when my burden weighs a little heavy. It's on days like this that I miss the love I never had with you. Sometimes, I find myself loosely lost between wonders of what could've been. But, it is in between those wonders that I feel at home, I feel like I float and sink. Very slowly, I sink and sink until suddenly the pressure of the water above me crushes my bones, and I am again, just a little bit of shiny, glimmering stardust. I feel like it is in between the wonders of what could've been us that I feel like I am in your arms, wrapped tightly, softly, wonderfully and eternally. I know you don't love me and you never will. Often, I look at the mirror through your eyes and try my hardest to love me. But I hate myself, I see so much flaw. I do not know who I am, and I do not want to, because the knowledge of who I am will pain me. But I wonder if in between the five millions times our eyes were locked and the time you stared at me distantl...
Post a Comment
Read more

spring

Spring didn't come when I sought for it It didn't come last December when I thought I wanted a bit of sun and a bunch of flowers to pick. Spring came subtly Knocking on my door, it entered without me knowing It walked in like a gentle breeze, the kind you'd find by the sea where the seagulls soar. Spring came last afternoon when I walked home and a wreath of white jasmines hanging by a random Kathmandu gate blessed my way. It came when this morning's temple bells reminded me of Dashain. Spring came when I realied that these were some final blooms I was witnessing at my first, my favorite home ever, Kathmandu. Spring came when I realized I wouldn't book flights to come home next March, It came when I realized that the fragrant white jasmines wouldn't again be on my way home next April. Spring came subtly, not when I sought for it, but so absolutely when I needed it.
Post a Comment
Read more

you

 The light enters through the creeks and nooks in your hands. Perhaps, it softly sits at the depths of the lines that go about your palm. It slowly pierces into you. And for you, you are so full of light! When you murmur in the silence of the night, the day arrives. The words you utter reckon the day. You are brighter than the Sun and fairer than the moon. Your softest voice calls for the start of a beautiful sunrise. One, I'd want to lazily spend in a mowed lawn, with sheep and puppies running around, and you, of course. I so wish, that when you walk about and your luminous light falls upon me and I can see the nerves and blood vessels in my own palm, I could name them all. I wish I could crochet you a sweater out of the arteries that carry my own blood. I love you so much and I love your light so much more. I cannot breathe when your light dims and the darkness does not fade. I cannot sleep in the black of the night when your light isn't burning in my soul. I will freeze to d...
Post a Comment
Read more